How to talk about... Bullying

 

As part of this year’s schedule for Parents’ Coffee Mornings, we have introduced some topics entitled “How to talk to...” with scripts to help parents have conversations with their children around different topics. To conclude Anti-Bullying Week, for the first Parents’ Coffee Morning of the year, Tr Jon spoke to parents under the title of “How to talk about...Bullying”. 

 

Our ethos 

Our ethos states that “We are deeply committed to our shared goals and dedicated to providing a safe and secure space for all.” We want Network to be a “safe and secure place for all” in every phase (EYFS, Primary and Secondary) and for all members of our community. 

 

In Assemblies and PSHRE, we have talked to students about the UK Equality Act of 2010. While we recognise that this is a British law, we think that it is important that students understand the society that many will be attending when they go to study in the UK, but also, as a school and civilised society, we believe that we should be looking out for each other and should not tolerate discriminatory behaviour in any shape or form. 

 

Kindness Charter 

Every child’s Student Planner has our Kindness Charter within it. This is discussed with tutors at the beginning of the year and is referenced in Assemblies and conversations throughout the year. This contains our expectations for students in how they behave towards others, and every student signs it to agree that they will follow these. 

It establishes what bullying is, what unkind behaviour is and also reminds students that they should not accept bullying from others, when they witness it. All members of the Network community must ensure that they are not bystanders and therefore allow it to happen. 

 

We recognise that children make mistakes and that as a school, we need to help them to learn from these. When children have made poor choices, the Kindness Charter allows us to highlight how their behaviour does not meet our expectations and we can discuss how they can improve their behaviour to make better choices. 

 

Anti-Bullying Week 2024 

In Assembly on Monday, I spoke to all Secondary students about Anti-Bullying Week and the Anti-Bullying Aliance, whose theme for this year’s Anti-Bullying Week is “Choose Respect”.  I called upon all our students and staff to commit to a society where we respect one another and are kind to others. 

 

What is “Bullying”?  

There is often confusion around what is meant by “Bullying”. The Anti-Bullying Alliance describes it as “The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological. It can happen face to face or online.” In posters around the school and discussions in Assembles, PSHRE lessons and general conversations, we keep the definition very simple: 

Several 

Times 

On 

Purpose 

Students can experience an instance of unkind behaviour. While this is not acceptable, this only becomes bullying when it is repeated “Several Times” and is intentional “On Purpose”. As a community, together, we can STOP it. 

 

Who to talk to 

At Network, we have a number of staff that students can talk to when they are upset. Our pastoral tutors are typically the most important person that a student can go to, but we also have Heads of Key Stage and Heads of House. In reality, a child can go to any teacher in the school – anyone that they consider a trusted adult – to ask for help. 

 

We also have our teams of Student Leaders, from the Head and Deputy Head of School to the House Captain teams. One of the reasons for House events like weekly House lunches and the upcoming House Choral events is to help younger students meet the leadership team in their House and recognise them as approachable people who they can talk to in helping them get help. 

 

Finally, we have our Safeguarding team and I hope that when you have come onto the campus, you have seen these posters, which show Principal Stephen, Tr Sophie and myself as trusted individuals that they come to if they are feeling unsafe. 

 

Helping your child 

To effectively help parents talk to their children about bullying, it is crucial to understand the appropriate language surrounding the issue and that is why we often emphasise the definition of “bullying”. Encouraging open communication between parents and children helps create a safe space for discussing sensitive topics. Additionally, we have talked about it in previous Coffee Mornings and will do so again later in the year, but monitoring online activity can be essential in identifying and addressing cyberbullying. Parents should also promote healthy friendships and foster self-esteem in their children to build resilience against bullying. Finally, modeling positive behavior themselves reinforces the values of respect and kindness, setting a strong example for children to follow. 

The key to this is ensuring that your child hears consistent messages that we don’t judge people on wrong choices they make, particularly while they are still children, and we never judge people for things outside of their control such as their appearance. By creating an open and safe environment, your child is much more likely to come to you for help if they need it.   

While it is important to talk to children when they are the recipient of unkind behaviour, it is equally important to talk to children when they make poor choices, ensuring that you do so with empathy and understanding. Start by avoiding any judgmental comments, recognising that children, like adults, are prone to making mistakes. Focus on acknowledging and addressing the specific behaviour rather than labeling your child. Use this opportunity to discuss the consequences of their actions and the importance of taking responsibility, while also encouraging them to understand how their behaviour affects others. To help your child grow from the experience, suggest engaging in positive activities that foster constructive behavior and personal development. By maintaining a supportive and non-judgmental attitude, you help your child learn from their mistakes and make better choices in the future. 

In the Coffee Morning, I gave handouts with conversation starters in both Burmese and English to help parents have these conversations with their children. If any parent was unable to attend and would like a copy, these can be obtained from the 7 Mile Receptionist. 

 

In the spirit of encouraging open communication, especially where children are tired at the end of long days at the moment, we also talked about having conversations that provide positive reflections on their school day. Conversation starters such as: 

• What was the highlight of your day today?  

• What was the most interesting thing that happened at school today?  

• Did anything happen today that made you laugh or feel good?  

• Tell me about something you learned today that surprised you.  

• What was the biggest challenge you faced today, and how did you handle it? 

 

Anti-Bullying Week and beyond 

As part of Anti-Bullying Week, we celebrated students’ uniqueness and diversity within our community through Odd Socks Day on Wednesday and there have been activities for students during the week. However, we remain committed to the concept of Anti-Bullying beyond this week. We are committed to providing a “safe and secure space for all” permanently.  

 
What’s next? 

We welcome parents to join us for the next Parents’ Coffee Morning on Friday 27th September, entitled “Supporting your child with learning routines”. 

 

Tr Jon 

Head of Secondary